Snark, Critic and Pop!

A scene from the “classic” Italian post-Atlantis Apocalyptic film Raider of Atlantis. At 1:34 comes what is arguably the greatest worst line in bad movie history:

The good news: One of my favorite actors, Guy Pearce, is back to headlining a big budget, big screen movie! The bad news: It’s in a cliche riddled sci-fi picture that looks to be a combination of Escape From New York, Fortress, and Taken (it even stars Maggie Grace as the damsel in distress!). The premise: In the future, the President’s daughter (Grace) is trapped on a space prison where the inmates have taken control. Enter a escape artist (Pearce) sent to bring her back alive. I ain’t gonna lie: I’m gonna see it. Continue reading…

What do you get when you mix a Patrick Stewart voice-over, a phone commercial, the gorgeous Milla Jovovich, and zombies? RESIDENT EVIL 5: The Quest For Peace! Resident Evil: Electric Boogaloo. Or, Resident Evil: Retribution, if you will. Watch the trailer, fellow Trailer Watchers! Continue reading…

Actor Nicol Williamson has died at the age of 75 from esophageal cancer (he actually died back in December, but his family has just released the statement).  A two time Tony award winner, he was also known for having played many famous characters on the big screen such as the wizard Merlin in Excalibur and Hamlet opposite Sir Anthony Hopkins and Marianne Faithful.  But his greatest roll was undoubtedly that of Badger in Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.  In one of the greatest things I have ever seen on IMDB, his first film roll is listed as “Man lighting Major Lockwood’s distorted cigarette (uncredited)” in The Iron Petticoat.

Not quite those morons at PETA, but animal rights activists — America’s Wolf Conservation Center specifically — are protesting the depiction of wolves by Hollywood.  The friendly, neighborly wolf is apparently smeared as potentially not nice in the new survival film “The Grey” starring Liam Neeson, which opens this Friday.  If you’re stranded in the wilderness, perhaps coming across a pack of angry, hungry wolves would be a stroke of luck! The wolves might take you into your pack until you and your brother can found Rome. Says a member of the Center:

“It’s not anything new for wolves to be portrayed as the bad guy in fairy tales, and we don’t take it seriously because it’s fantasy, but this movie is supposed to be real.”

Continue reading…

I’m dipping into the vault for a review of the Asylum’s adaptation of Jules Verne’s classic novel, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea! Say what you will, but this film definitively answers the question: Is Jules Verne’s work now in the public domain where any studio can make a movie and not have to pay royalties? The answer is yes, friends.

Written in 1869, 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea comes from a very different age. For example, people knew what a “league” was back then. No, stupid readers, the title does not imply that there are lots of aquatic sport federations. Leagues would be a measure of distance. 20,000 leagues is the equivalent of . . . a long distance.  To give you some perspective, 20,000 leagues was at least twice as far as 10,000 leagues.  And back in ye olden times, going . . . a long distance underwater is really mind boggling. Continue reading…

With the song “I Need More Love”, from David Letterman:

It’s gone viral, people. Why? Well, I could not resist the thought of an 8 year old girl performing her first hardcore song, with her stuffed animals and a trampoline replacing a mosh pit. Can you? Continue reading…

Amazing, admirable, and/or really sad. A full-length, scene-for-scene, word-for-word recreation of Star Wars: A New Hope made by a compilation of fan contributions. Includes fan-acting, lego work, child acting, bottle-figures, every imaginable form of crude animation, and various other recreations. It runs the entire two hours! (I made it only ten minutes, see if you can beat my record!) Continue reading…

Gina Carano, I love you dream woman!

The Corpus Christi Ice Rays take on the Texas Tornadoes in a North American Hockey League (NAHL) game, and a pier five brawl started by a heckuva sucker punch. Continue reading…