Snark, Critic and Pop!

Hear ye, hear ye!  Is there a coal shortage in your town?  Well my friends, your days of worry and woe are over!  Just in time for unpopular, last minute Christmas gifts, it’s my latest book, Mega Roos vs. Giant Crappy Movies!

Ripped from the headlines, Mega Roos vs. Giant Crappy Movies is the tale of an orphaned lemur separated from his guardian Owl of Gahoot.  Together with his best friend, a jar of Reece’s Pieces flavored shampoo, he’ll have to find the Scepter of Narnia and rescue the Hobbit Princess!  (Oh, wait, that’s another project I’m working on . . .)

Sorry, Mega Roos vs. Giant Crappy Movies is a collection of my favorite terrible movie reviews (terrible refers to the movies not the reviews) from waaaaay back in the day when we were posting at Film.IsPwn.com.

You’re probably saying to yourself, Self, Why would I buy a book that’s available for free on the interweb?  Well, Yourself, I’ll tell Yourself why! 

Besides, most the original posts being removed from Film.IsPwn’s archives (ha ha!), there are movies never before posted in the book as well as a brand spanking new introduction explaining why bad movies are better than good movies.  Each one of the reviews was modified and updated by Yours Truly.  Superfluous analysis was concatenated and replaced with additional, snarky hilarity, hitherto referred to as snarkarity.  Then the manuscript was passed to an actual editor!  After the editing, I took another pass to bring snarkarity levels up an unprecedented 98.3%!

The title – Mega Roos versus Giant Crappy Movies –is a reference to the greatest fun/bad movie ever, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. 

The incredible cover comes courtesy of the great Joel Conklin – thanks, Joel!  – with an assist to my brother Joseph who added the titles to Joel’s art and taking and adding the little picture of me in MST3K silhouette in the bottom right. 

The book clocks in at about 71,000 words, 221 pages, 65 reviews, plus the introduction.  The book is exclusively available at Lulu.com, for purchase at just over $10, digital download for under $3.  Help a starving writer out, won’t you?  (I can afford food, I’m just on a diet.  Oh, how I miss carbohydrates!)

For those interested, the table of contents are like so:

x. Introduction
1. I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (2006)
2. Perfect Stranger (2007)
3. Jaws 4: The Revenge (1987)
4. Brenda Starr (1989)
5. John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars (2001)
6. Mansquito (2005)
7. Transmorphers (2007)
8. Space Buddies (2009)
9. 9 (2009)
10. Cool As Ice (1991)
11. Stay Alive (2006)
12. The Order of the Black Eagle (1987)
13. Wolf (1994)
14. Lost Treasure (2003)
15. The Gingerdead Man (2006)
16. P2 (2007)
17. Supergirl (1984)
18. Redline (2007)
19. The Bone Collector (1999)
20. Frankenstein Meets the Spacemonster (1965)
21. Prom Night (2008)
22. Nowhere to Run (1993)
23. The Number 23 (2007)
24. Grizzly Park (2008)
25. Fair Game (1995)
26. Planet Raptor (2007)
27. Final Verdict (2009)
28. AVH: Alien Vs. Hunter (2007)
29. Monster Ark (2008)
30. Next (2007)
31. Street Fighter (1994)
32. Phantom Racer (2009)
33. Breaker! Breaker! (1977)
34. Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)
35. The Temp (1993)
36. Thrill Seekers (1999)
37. Dragon Wars: D-War (2007)
38. Thor: Hammer of the Gods (2009)
39. Rollerball (2002)
40. The Pirates of Treasure Island (2006)
41. Eraser (1996)
42. Man-Thing (2005)
43. High Risk (1981)
44. Avatar (2009)
45. Swamp Thing (1982)
46. Congo (1995)
47. Double Impact (1991)
48. Fearless Frank (1967)
49. Fire Down Below (1997)
50. Torque (2004)
51. Half Past Dead 2 (2007)
52. The Order (2001)
53. The Legend of the Lone Ranger (1981)
54. Unmasking the Idol (1986)
55. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
56. Pterodactyl (2005)
57. John Carpenter’s The Fog (1980)
58. Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008)
59. Paparazzi (2004)
60. Krull (1983)
61. Dragon Fighter (2003)
62. Mercury Rising (1998)
63. Unforgettable (1996)
64. Time After Time (1979)
65. Lame Mystery Bonus Review Guaranteed To Disappoint!