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Archive for June, 2011

When I Throw Out A Ceremonial First Pitch Someday . . .

by on Jun.30, 2011, under Sports

I think I’m going to do a little something like this cirque de soleil performer who I trained in the ancient arts of acrobatic pitchery . . . (continue reading…)

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TRAILER: Mission: Impossible 4 (Dec 16, 2011)

by on Jun.29, 2011, under Movies

I know a lot of folks out there cannot STAND Tom Cruise and/or anything he does, and not without reason. But if I disavowed everyone, let alone every actor/singer/writer, who said and/or did really stupid things, I wouldn’t be partaking of very much pop culture, would I? While I avoided Cruise’s embarassing Cameron Diaz disaster, Knight & Day, I can’t wait for Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. J.J. Abrams’ MI:3 was awesome, and this one (with a story by Abrams & Cruise, directed by Pixar vet Brad Bird) looks like it could be a winner as well.

If Cruise’s inanity and periodic insanity are off-putting, the ensemble has plenty of geek/nerd inducing faces: Simon Pegg, Josh “Sawyer” Halloway, Ving Rhames, Léa Seydoux, Paula Patton, and the great Tom Wilkinson. Check out the trailer and see for yourself: (continue reading…)

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TROLL ALERT!! REVIEW: Trollhunter (2011)

by on Jun.28, 2011, under Movies

I have beheld the glory that is Trollhunter, and found myself thoroughly entertained.  Is it a perfect movie? No, few movies about trolls and their hunters are.  However, of all the movies about trolls and the people who hunt them which I have seen, Trollhunter is easily my favorite.

Trollhunter is a Norwegian (and be forewarned, my illiterate friends: it is subtitled) film, presented as “found footage.”  Think the Blair Witch Project, but with some actual thought put into it and a budget for effects. (continue reading…)

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I’ve Got a New Hobby . . .

by on Jun.28, 2011, under Only on the Internet

And it’s reading the descriptions of books on self-publishing site Lulu.com.  (Lulu, publisher of my runaway hit Mega Roos vs. Giant Crappy Movies.) Lulu makes publishing so easy and affordable anyone can do it — and here’s the proof.  As a man who has self-published a few novels in his day, I feel sympathy.  Twilight wannabes less so.  A few gave me a chuckle, this one in particular: (continue reading…)

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What This World Could Really Use Right Now: Jazz

by on Jun.27, 2011, under Music

For example, the phenomenonal jazz trio of Medeski, Martin, & Wood’s ultra catchy beat “End Of The World Party,” shown here in a live performance. Yes, dear blog readers, there is more than cats, groin shots, and cats hitting groins on the internet. Oh how I love youtube some days:


(continue reading…)

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Latest Rifftrax VOD: The Devil’s Hand

by on Jun.26, 2011, under Cinematic Masochist, Movies

No, not the classic Futurama episode “The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Playthings,” but an olde flick starring the original Commissioner Gordon! Enjoy the sample:

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Tonight on SyFy: Swamp Shark (Featuring Wade Boggs!)

by on Jun.25, 2011, under Movies, Sports, Television

Yes, baseball hall of famer, mustache expert, and enemy to chickens everywhere Wade Boggs is an actor now. Well, an actor inasmuch as he has landed a novelty casting role in a SyFy Channel Original movie, Swamp Shark, debuting TONIGHT on the SyFy Channel.

IMDB.com says Boggs plays Deputy Stanley in the film. While Boggs does not appear in the clip below, not much is certain other than he is probably going to be a really, really bad actor in a really, really small role, in this really, really bad film. Yes, I am psyched! My DVR is set, and I hope yours is as well. (continue reading…)

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Abandon All Hope! Run! Hide the Children! Metta World Peace is Coming!!!!!

by on Jun.24, 2011, under News, Sports

The NBA’s modern day Dennis Rodman, Ron Artest, is primarily known for inciting a riot in an infamous incident where he stormed the stands after a fan who threw a drink at him in Detroit.  That and his interesting hair styles.  Anyhoo, Artest says it’s time for a change.  No, he’s not teaming up with Jean-Claude Van Damme in a long overdue sequel to Double Team.  Nor is Artest changing careers, he’s not changing his number, he’s not changing teams.  Ron Artest is changing his name.  To Metta World Peace.

As yet, we are unsure why Artest has made this decision.  My theory: Ron Artest saw Miss America say she wanted world peace, and realized the only way he could attract a girl like that is to change his name to Metta World Peace.  It’s a great name if you like lame pickup lines, too.  Have you Metta World Peace?  That’s me!  Say what you will, but his line is better than my go-to-standard, Are you from Tennessee?  Why, you’re the only ten I see.  (continue reading…)

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1st Hobbit Photos Released – My Fellow Nerds & I Rejoice

by on Jun.23, 2011, under Movies

A young Bilbo reads a letter. 

On the surface, not necessarily the most exciting visual ever.  But it’s the frickin’ Hobbit, people!

This can’t hit theaters soon enough.

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Trailer: FOOTBALL COPS

by on Jun.23, 2011, under Television

If only this were a real show, I might watch a TV cop show again:

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New Warren Beatty Film Coming

by on Jun.22, 2011, under Movies, News

Yes, it’s true!  Our long national nightmare is over.  Warren Beatty is returning to theaters with a film he’s written and will direct and star in.  SnarkCriticPop has been unable to confirm that the project will be the long awaited Ishtar 2, but Dustin Hoffman isn’t doing much either.

The buzz is tremendous.  People under the age of 30 unanimously cry out . . . who the hell is Warren Beatty?  As I am somewhat older than 30, I vaguely recall him as the guy from that terrible Dick Tracy movie and the dude from Bonnie and Clyde.  Honestly, I’d be more entertained if they let Adam West make another movie.  Make it happen, Hollywood!

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