Snark, Critic and Pop!

Perhaps the only film more promising on the 2012 calendar is not the Dark Knight Rises, but rather G.I. Joe 2: Cobra Strikes.  (Kidding!  Please invite me to the Knight premiere, Christopher Nolan!) 

If there was a problem with the first G.I. Joe, it’s that there weren’t enough characters.  Good thing they’re adding a lot more, including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Roadblock and Adrianne “The Paper” Palicki (fresh off a failed pilot for Wonder Woman) as Lady Jaye.  Ray Stevenson, Elodie Yung, RZA, and D.J. Cotrona are also in there as well as some returning favorites like Channing Tatum and Ray Park.  But we need some more. 

Well, at least one more.  Here’s some free casting advice to the producers:

As a child of the 80s who played with G.I. Joes, there’s one Joe who deserves — no, make that needs — to be brought to the big screen.  I’m talking about none other than Tollbooth.  I’m sure you all know very well who Tollbooth is, but for the uninformed I’ll expound.

According to the definitive resource of G.I. Joe knowledge, Wikipedia:

Tollbooth is the G.I. Joe Team’s bridge layer driver.  His real name is Chuck X. (for nothing) Goren, and his rank is that of SP-5 (Sergent). Tollbooth was born in Boise, Idaho  . . .

Tollbooth’s military specialty is combat engineer, and his secondary military specialty is transportation. As a child, Tollbooth had a love for construction sets, which he made bigger and more complex until he outgrew them all. He started building in earnest, and got his Masters in engineering from MIT. When he needed a bigger challenge, he joined the army to sign up for the G.I. Joe Team.

You might be asking yourself, who — WHO — can possibly bring Tollbooth to life in G.I. Joe 2?  Tollbooth’s got a Masters. He drives a truck. He transports and builds things.

There is but one man up for the challenge. SnarkCriticPop favorite Paul Logan. Yes, the man best known for bringing another all-time great military icon to life, Jason Fitch, in the much beloved Mega Piranha film. 

Let’s make it happen, people.  Hit the streets.  Sign postcards.  Send letters.  There’s a new fangled thing called e-mail, let’s have our research team look into that as a means of expressing our opinion.  Hunger strikes are encouraged.  If push comes to shove, tweet it.  Let the word go forth.  Comment on this page if you want Paul Logan for Tollbooth!!!!!!!!!