Snark, Critic and Pop!

Friends, I know there’s been some unnecessary and unprovoked bear hatred on the blog of late, but I’m here to set the record straight.  We all know that bears are really great.  Hey, that rhymed!  I’ll do some more should I find the time.  May I present to you a series of amazing bear facts?  For example, bears life weights, that’s why they’re really jacked.

• Unlike Brian Alterman, bears are excellent dancers.
• Unlike humans, bears are getting close to a cure for cancer.
• A polar bear can swim for 50 miles.
• Bear fashion never goes out of style.
  They ain’t no endangered species.
  Unlike monkeys, we ask politely before we hurl our feces.
  When we bears rule the world, we will eat you last.
  Who will be first?  The Jersey Shore cast.