Snark, Critic and Pop!

I saw a movie in theaters this week.  It has been a while.  Killing time between work and a glorious, victorious night of Cactus League softball in the lovely metropolis of Waxhaw, NC was just a bonus.  I actually wanted to see Drive.  The trailer made it seem like a cool, film noir version of Jason Statham’s awesome action picture the Transporter.  Heck, Drive had a 93% positive rating on Rottentomatoes.com!  What could go wrong?

I’ll tell you what went wrong – the unnamed, main character of Drive, listed in the credits simply as “Driver.”  (I suppose an homage to the most famous, anonymous anti-hero, Clint Eastwood’s Spaghetti Western character Man With No Name.)  The Driver is played the film’s star, Academy Award nominee Ryan Gosling.  Gosling is a good actor, but whether the problem is with his choice on how to play the Driver or how the Driver was intended, by gum it just did not work for me.  In fact it made me want to stop the film at multiple points just so I could slap the star in the face. (continue reading…)

Here at SnarkCriticPop, we watch and talk a LOT of movies. Upon occasion watching a movie feels like an obligation for the sake of a good blog (see: Streets of Fire), and I can kind of see why some movie critics hate movies.  I don’t hate movies, but I would like to talk about a fine, seldom used alternative to movie watching, a little something I like to call: READING.

I did some quick research on Wikipedia, and I discovered some interesting facts regarding reading: Did you know that reading was invented by Thomas Edison as a method of exploiting his invention called papyrus, which we now refer to as paper?  Blind people had actually been reading lips for several years prior to Edison, but since they could not find the patent office until it was too late, Edison owns the trademark on reading which is why blind people and astute readers like me have to pay a fee to Edison’s estate any time we read something. (Okay Wikipedia’s not quite THAT bad, but any resource where Howie Mandel can be a contributor on John Adams I don’t trust . . .)

One book I’ve recently been reading is A Year At The Movies by Kevin Murphy.  Murphy, for those who don’t know, is one of the writers and stars of my favorite TV show of all time, Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K), playing the robot Tom Servo and Professor Bobo the Gorilla.  (continue reading…)

As in Hulk Hogan’s “Micro Championship Wrestling.” Oh, it’s not just one of Brian Alterman’s never ending series of midget fantasies, it’s real, it’s darn real.

Oh, it’s hard to say of a man who used to fake fight in his underwear at his peak, “oh how the mighty have fallen,” but . . . Behold: (continue reading…)

Forthcoming thriller starring Sam Worthington, could be worthwhile: (continue reading…)

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I will not bore you with the story of how I ended up with a copy of Streets of Fire, but let me assure you I did not pay a dime for it.  Yet, ever inquisitive, without foreknowledge of the plot, never reading the back cover or looking it up on imdb.com I watched it.  The front cover promises me a movie starring Michael Pare (who?), Diane Lane, and Willem Dafoe.  The roughly sketched picture of a dashing guy holding a shotgun as a woman is holding on to him in front of gritty streets that do not appear to be on fire.  I’m bold.  I pop in the DVD and press play.

The first clue I’m in for a rough ride is the text reading: “A Rock ‘n Roll Fable.”  Not a good start.  Then more text: “Another Time . . . Another Place.”  Based on these clues one might expect the Star Wars musical, but that’s not the case.  Turns out we’re in the ‘50s of what I think is supposed to be Chicago or New York or maybe it doesn’t matter.  It is a strange, ‘80s version of the ‘50s.  Curious observation: The ‘50s movies about the ‘80s envisioned everyone riding in jet packs and living on moon colonies; ‘80s movies about the ‘50s portray everyone as an idiot.  But I digress. . . (continue reading…)

Liam Neeson gets in touch with the wild side: (continue reading…)

I’m a fairly conservative fellow or a dull guy, depending on your perspective. I’ve never smoked, taken druges other than prescribed painkillers, and I don’t even drink alcohol (though I did recently win a beer in a bet, so I’ve one should I decide to start). Other than one speeding ticket and eating a cookie when Mom said not to when I was 6, I’ve avoided criminal behavior for 32 years and counting. That is, unless I move to California. You see . . . go to Bible Studies. I throw myself on the mercy of the court.

ABC News reports: “A California family has been fined for holding weekly Bible studies in their home, meetings that are allegedly in violation of the city’s zoning regulations. . . They have already been fined $300 and have been told they will be fined an additional $500 per meeting if they continue to meet without a Conditional Use Permit..” (continue reading…)

I’m not just a client, I’m the presenter!

Prison officials have nixed the traditional last meal for inmates about to by executed.  Why?  Because some jerk ruined it for everyone else.  Lawrence Russell Brewer was convicted and sentenced to death for a vicious hate crime (I don’t need to go into details, if you feel the need search the web).  For his last meal he ordered two chicken fried steaks, a triple meat bacon cheeseburger, fried okra, a pound of barbecue, three fajitas, a meat lovers pizza, a pint of ice cream and peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts.  Instead of the guards giving him a swift kick to the gut and saying “What was that you wanted?” they actually got it all for him.  When the meal arrived, he told prison officials he was not hungry.  Now that in itself was reason for a swift beating, but I guess they figured the death penalty was enough.  Inmates will now receive the same meal served to other offenders on the unit – another case of a jerk ruining something for everyone else.

A new contender: http://www.wtsp.com/news/watercooler/article/211810/58/Police-91-year-old-threw-urine-on-sidewalk (Obviously not from New York City, how could you tell?)  This one is from Tampa Bay, Florida.