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Archive for March, 2012

RIFFTRAX SAMPLE: Frankenstein Island

by on Mar.22, 2012, under Movies

Or “Life Acquatic with Ted Kaczinski”:

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REVIEW: The River Wild (1994)

by on Mar.21, 2012, under Movies

A new breed of action star has emerged . . . and it’s Meryl Streep.  Move over Robert Downey Jr. and make room for the Iron Lady!

Yes, the year is 1994, and Arnold Schwarzenegger is showing signs of slowing down.  Coming off the disappointing Last Action Hero, Arnold released Junior – the movie where he got pregnant (you read that correctly).  Sylvester Stallone didn’t fare better in 1994, releasing the lackluster flick the Specialist.  Even the usually reliable Jean-Claude Van Damme stumbled for the first time with the uncharacteristically uninspired Street Fighter – the rare subpar movie adaption of a video game.

1994.  The landscape was ready for Meryl Streep.  Streep, long since held back in traditional “acting” roles in such films as Out of Africa, Deer Hunter (which stunk), and Kramer vs. Kramer, finally shows why she got into movies in the first place: kicking serious arse!  The action star boy’s club knew they’d met their match and things wouldn’t be the same as, in the wake of the River Wild, Streep would go on to star in countless action movies starting with her breakout role as Wonder Woman. (continue reading…)

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MUSIC FOR MONDAY: Swedish House Mafia – “Save The World”

by on Mar.19, 2012, under Music

Take that, Italians, Mexicans, and Japanese! My Swedish peeps finally has a mafia! And, apparently, it’s for the dogs.

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REVIEW: Grimm’s Snow White (2012)

by on Mar.18, 2012, under Movies

Fairy tales are in vogue these days (Once Upon A Time on ABC and the NBC series Grimm; movies Jack the Giant Killer, Mirror Mirror, and Snow White and the Hunstman starring Kristen Stewart).  Fairy tales are also public domain (read: no royalties to Brothers Grimm required).  Naturally, this combination is the mating call of our friends at the Asylum.  Their latest mockbuster is Grimm’s Snow White – tagline “MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL ‘TIS THE MOST TERRIFYING OF THEM ALL.” 

It seems fairy tales aren’t for children any more, though.  And Grimm’s Snow White is no different.  This one involves dragons and dead kings and various dark forest magic shenanigans that would send Billy and Suzie crying to Mama. Mama is left to wonder: where are the cute singing dwarves? (continue reading…)

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Song for St. Patrick’s Day

by on Mar.17, 2012, under Music

The Funky Ceili (Live) by Black 47… Recorded last week, they are still playing it!

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At Long Last – Bruce Lee vs. Iron Man

by on Mar.15, 2012, under Only on the Internet

Not an epic rap battle of history, but stop motion internet silliness:

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Nothing on TV? Try Person of Interest

by on Mar.15, 2012, under Television

I don’t post so much about TV lately, because there’s so precious little on TV that holds my attention beyond sports, news, and history stuff. The one show I always make time for is Person of Interest on CBS, which I’m pleased to hear was picked up for a much deserved second season. Airing Thursdays at 9 Eastern, the first season is drawing to a close, but it’s a rather easy to get onboard show, methinks. Here’s a promo for the premeire: (continue reading…)

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REVIEW: Blubberella (2011)

by on Mar.14, 2012, under Movies

A quick perusal of the world wide interweb leads me to conclude that there are precious few attempts to properly review the Uwe Boll film Blubberella.  I don’t blame anyone who threw their hands up and said, “nah,” or just said it stunk a skunk on toast.  I understand.  I just saw Blubberella.  I review movies frequently.  I searched for other reviews in a desperate attempt to understand what I had just experienced.

In my mind, I’m trying to think of how to categorize or describe in some way director Uwe Boll’s opus Blubberella. It’s tough, but I’ll try:

To understand Blubberella you have understand Bloodrayne: Third Reich – a tall order. A while ago I reviewed Uwe Boll’s Bloodrayne: Third Reich. B:TR was a bad movie. Not fun/bad, but joyless, soul-suckingly unwatchable bad. Bloodrayne 3 surrounded a sexy half human/half vampire helping the Resistance battle supernatural Nazis during World War II. (continue reading…)

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