Snark, Critic and Pop!

Fairy tales are in vogue these days (Once Upon A Time on ABC and the NBC series Grimm; movies Jack the Giant Killer, Mirror Mirror, and Snow White and the Hunstman starring Kristen Stewart).  Fairy tales are also public domain (read: no royalties to Brothers Grimm required).  Naturally, this combination is the mating call of our friends at the Asylum.  Their latest mockbuster is Grimm’s Snow White – tagline “MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL ‘TIS THE MOST TERRIFYING OF THEM ALL.” 

It seems fairy tales aren’t for children any more, though.  And Grimm’s Snow White is no different.  This one involves dragons and dead kings and various dark forest magic shenanigans that would send Billy and Suzie crying to Mama. Mama is left to wonder: where are the cute singing dwarves?

As with all low-budget films with grand ambitions of far away lands and a big scope, the Asylum’s Snow White doesn’t measure up to the Hollywood blockbuster tripe when it comes to visuals and scenary.

The Asylum films generally make up for lack of budget with b-movie caliber, schlock filled fun. So what if you don’t have Industrial Light & Magic doing the effects, when you’ve got pop divas Debbie Gibson and Tiffany in a cat-fight (see: Mega Python vs. Gatoroid) or c-list stars like Lorenzo Lamas hamming it up. But Grimm’s Snow White is missing that fun element.

Grimm’s Snow White isn’t good enough to be good and sadly isn’t bad enough to be camp fun. It’s just kind of there on screen, an unfullfilling mediocre movie. If you’re in the mood for a great b-movie fantasy, check out last Summer’s Asylum fare, the Almighty Thor.