Snark, Critic and Pop!

We all know that Snark Critic Pop has become a hotbed for bear apologists and furry propaganda.  David Booth of the Florida Panthers is doing his best to fight against our bearly tolerable friends (get it?  BEAR-ly tolerable?)  Booth, who is an avid bow hunter took out this 7 foot tall menace and then tweeted this photo as a warning to any other bear out there who might have ideas…

The Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino (I know I have used this pic before, but google couldn’t find anything better) is going to be ruining comic books, much like he ruins television.  Thanks Wizard World!  According to the press release:

The series of comic books based upon stories by Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino and his family will be written and drawn by some of the comic book industry’s leading artists and writers. In addition, the Sorrentino family members will be making appearances at several Wizard World conventions to promote their characters and greet the fans in attendance.

Proving without a doubt that the recesion has hit some of the comic book industry’s leading artists and writers.

It seems that the 21st cetury arms race of gluttony is heating up.  Pizza Hut UK is offering the new hot dog stuffed pizza to go along with other classics such as “foot long pasta dish”.  Don’t worry, they also offer all you can eat greasy salad.  They even offer a happy hour, although I can’t imagine spending a happy hour at Pizza Hut (or a happy half hour for that matter). 

Please dear reader, spread the word.  If people don’t know about this the Brits could soon be as fat and diabetes ridden as us, and then where would we be (aside from fat and diabeted ridden)?  Just kidding, until they get the bacon milkshake they are not even in our league!

Meet Raymond Foley, (former) IT guy at the Iowa farm bureau and consumite ladies man.  Yes girls, he knows what you like.  Assuming what you like is a creepy guy peeing on your chair after you go home from work…

A Farm Bureau official told investigators that Foley had access to the Farm Bureau’s employee database, which contains photographs of workers. He would browse the database and “pick out attractive females and then on off hours, he would come into work, go to their desk, and urinate on their chairs.”

Quoth Foley: “I was doing inappropriate things I shouldn’t be doing.”  Yes you were sir, yes you were.

The Funky Ceili (Live) by Black 47… Recorded last week, they are still playing it!

BEHOLD! The glory of the taxidermy badger theramin!

In an apprent attempt to frighten and confuse anyone who might for some reason be a fan of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays the team will be giving out Zim Bears on June 29th.  The Detroit Tigers will be in town, and what better way to celebrate your team losing, than to go home with something that will undoubtedly give your children nightmares.  The bears were best described at Big League Stew:

…half-crusty old coach Don Zimmer, half-cuddly teddy bear and 100 percent terrifying.

Michael Bay is coming for your wallet, I say we all send him $10 and maybe he won’t make Transformers 4.  Rumor has it that he is re-imagining the franchise so he can get Megan Fox back in.  That rumor was started by me just now and is complete nonsense.  But the truth is that he is going to make a fourth film and I am not going to see it.  He has been working for months on the idea with Steven Spielberg, so one might hope that some talent rubs of on him.  Shia LaBeouf is not expected to be in the film.  Not quite nerdy, not quite tough, you know – Shia LaBeouf!

Our friends at the Asylum have done it again with their new film Celebrity Sex Tape (release date of February 14th, 2012 – just in time for valentines day… I know what one lucky woman is getting this year!).  What the major studios fail to grasp about the sex comedy genre is that getting big name celebrities is not the way to go.  As a viewer, do you really believe Ashton Kutcher and Justin Timberlakeare awkward with women?  Do you believe that Mila Kunis doesn’t have a full realization of just how incredibly hot she is?  Of course not, and that where it all falls apart.  Sure, they make some money but the movies are forgettable.  Will you remember the plot of Celebrity Sex Tape ten years from now?  No.  Will you remember that you really enjoyed watching it?  Yes.

The film centers around a group of college students who get invited to a party in the Hollywood Hills in payment for doing homework for two in the closet jocks.  One of them winds up having sex with a washed up, drunken, drugged out actress and the other one records it on his cell phone.  When they get home the next day, they show the tape to the one guy who didn’t go and mock him, then decide that leaving him with the phone could have no bad consequences despite the fact that he is webmaster for the site Pornderosa.com… (continue reading…)