Snark, Critic and Pop!

Look out, friends and fellow bad movie lovers - there’s a killer on the loose in the bayou, and he has it in for some inbred hicks!  If that’s not enough for you, what if I told you the killer is a werewolf?  Still not enough?  All right, demanding consumer, how’s this for a hook: The killer is also left-handed!  (One might say he’s a “southpaw,” so to speak.)  David Janssen (The Fugitive) stars as the smalltown Sheriff who has to track the furry killer down even as he courts the sexiest senior citizen in Louisiana and protect the wrongfully accused wild dog population from the trigger happy yokels.  Yes, all that and more in this 1972 made-for-TV “classic” Moon of the Wolf! 

Join Film Is Pwn’s resident riffers Brian Alterman and Daniel Roos for this Nixon Administration-era cheesefest.  You won’t believe some clueless studio executives let this cinematic gem slip into the public domain.  But their loss is your video on demand gain – download the movie and commentary for one low, low price.

“Mutant” apparently means “Zombies”:

It’s a double-whammy — a SyFy Saturday night movie, from our pals at the Asylum! It’s American Warships, premeiring around the same time as that other movie Battleship hits theaters. What a coincidink!

. . . And it is geek heaven. I’m far too lazy to write a full-on review, but the Avengers is terrific, Summer entertainment. Loads of action, loads of laughs, and loads of full on nerd mark-out moments, most involving the Hulk. If you haven’t seen it, go!!!!! (continue reading…)

Brady Bunch kids Barry Williams & Danny Bonaduce + Asylum Studios + Mount Rushmore + Bigfoot = awesomenss guaranteed!!!!!! 

This is the poster for an upcoming Asylum film which features Bigfoot on Mount Rushmore — what could possibly go wrong?

*This review appeared on our old, now defunct site Film.IsPwn.com and appeared in my non-selling book, Mega Roos vs. Giant Crappy Movies.  I am scheduling it to re-post so there is some dandy, nice reading while I’m on vacation.  Enjoy, won’t you?  Then buy the book, for Pete’s sake!* 

 Brenda Starr (1989)

Starring: Brooke Shields, Timothy Dalton, Tony Peck, Jeffrey Tambor

Directed By: Robert Ellis Miller

With apologies to Jaws 4: The Revenge, which I called “the dumbest film ever made,” Brenda Starr is the dumbest movie ever made.  This is not “you-can-see-the-monster’s-zipper” stupidity or “the-digital-monsters-look-cheaper-than-Howdy-Doody” terrible.  Brenda Starr is “Let’s-Give-Chevy-Chase-A-Late-Night-Talkshow” caliber buffoonery from its very conception.

Brenda Starr is based on a long-running comic strip of the same name that I vaguely remember seeing many moons ago, when I actually got a newspaper and would turn to the funny pages for Calvin & Hobbes.  (For you youngsters out there, newspapers are kind of like web sites on paper.) (continue reading…)

I’m taking my first ever cruise this week, and thought I would do some research by revisiting the sequel to 1994’s fun actioner Speed that was such a trainwreck Keanu Reeves wouldn’t do it:

One day I scanned upcoming shows using the guide on my DVR, I came across a movie that I hadn’t heard of previously — “Whisper.” The description read: “A kidnapper (Josh Holloway) and his associates that the boy they hold captive is a real devil.” This was enough to get me to record the film, having little to do with the description but rather the name Josh Holloway.

For those who don’t know, Josh Holloway played the charming con man Sawyer on the TV show Lost. I was a fan of Lost, which was one of the few TV shows I absolutely positively HAD to see.  Granted, the final episode didn’t live up to what had come before, but it would be hard to live up to everybody’s expectations.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I’d seen Josh Holloway in a movie filmed prior to his breakout role as Sawyer, as he starred in a Sci-Fi Channel original named Sabretooth, which falls into the so dreadful it’s fun/bad category. But now Holloway is a household name capable of headlining what I’m presuming was a straight to dvd release. Oh well, one has to start branching out somewhere, so it’s with cautious optimism I checked out Whisper. (continue reading…)

Come on, May 29th!

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Editorial note: In addition to my work on SnarkCriticPop.com, I also am a contributing writer for the premiere film and television beariodical, Entertainment Bearly. As a half-man/half-bear I am uniquely qualified for such a dual task, though I feel obliged to point out to you, my Snarky audience, that this particular article was written for bears by a (half-)bear. Feel free to read on . . . if you bear! Sorry, I promise that’s the last bear related pun of this bearagraph — I mean paragraph. Sorry again.

Before I get to my Movies for Bears column this week, a quick note from management: If you hear about a Bear Rally on Wall Street, it’s not what you think. If you go, please do not feed the bankers. Now, on to the film:

Grizzly Rage is the tale of a single mother whose only child is murdered by a cruel, merciless pack of homo sapiens, and her righteous pursuit of justice and . . . (dramatic pause) . . . revenge. (continue reading…)

Behold the awesomeness that is the Monster Brawl trailer!

Happy 75th birthday, Jack Nicholson: (continue reading…)