Snark, Critic and Pop!

There are many negative stereotypes in this world, but only some are true (Uwe Boll continues to prove the stereotype that all his movies are awful is true). Today a certain black bear proved once again that the stereotype of bears being cowards is true:

You know, I almost want the bear to kill him…

In the latest tale of bear woe, another bear has gotten hepped up on the goofballs, ending in near tragedy.  “Yogi” (real name withheld for privacy reasons) climbed a tree in a subburban Colorado town and was tranquilized, then for some reason caught as he fell towards the ground.  Based on the picture here, it seems he was going head first and I can only assume had they not caught him everything would have been fine.  No word yet on whether the bear intends to throw himself into traffic.

For shame Daniel, for shame.

The week stared off great for all you bear-huggers out there, as the Ukraine decided to free all of the bearsthey usually torment for fun.  Environment Minister Mykola Zlochevsky was quoted as saying:

“How long can we tolerate animal torture in restaurants where drunken guests make bears drink vodka for laughs?”

How long?  I wouldn’t have set a limit, I would have just let it play out its natural course.  I imagine that would last until shortly after the Earth was destroyed (we know the evil aliens who did it would take these bears with them for their own amusement, but I can’t (continue reading…)

Bear is the tale of one awesome bear and four stupid, bickering, exasperating  humans.  As a bear who knows many exasperating humans, I feel uniquely qualified to review this film.

The human contingent subsists of two brothers and their significant others.  There’s the older, successful brother and his frigid wife; and the younger, unemployable musician brother and his loose and lusty girlfriend. 

Like many characters in low-budget horror films, they decide to take a “shortcut” on their way to their parents’ 30th wedding anniversary party.  As movie law dictates, the scenic route leads to a tire blow-out (the only other possibility would be if they were walking one of the women’s heel’s broke).  (continue reading…)