Snark, Critic and Pop!

Is it just me or does the thought of a bear mauling someone bring laughter into your heart too? Is it because we know that a female skier beat one senseless so we know they are cowardly furballs? Or is it just that every time we see one we think of it wearing a tutu and dancing for drunk Russians? Either way, NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!

 Happy Veterans Day, to all you humans and bears alike.  From deadlinenews.com: 

A BEAR renowned for its help in some of the most significant battles of the Second World War is to have a Hollywood film made about him.

Wojtek, a Syrian brown bear who drank two bottles of beer a day, fought alongside Polish soldiers during the war before spending his final years at Edinburgh zoo. (continue reading…)

There are many negative stereotypes in this world, but only some are true (Uwe Boll continues to prove the stereotype that all his movies are awful is true). Today a certain black bear proved once again that the stereotype of bears being cowards is true:

My job has recently instituted a work from home one day a week program.  at first I was excited – use less gas, less clothes for dry cleaning… but then you miss Daniel losing it while dressed as a woman, so it really isn’t worth it.

Covered up by pro-human biased historians is the tale of Wojtek, the bear who fought alongside humans and helped win World War II with his superior stategery skills. The tale of Wojtek as described by the BBC:

Acquired as an orphaned cub in Iran, the young Wojtek was soon well-travelled: with the Artillery Supply Command of the Polish Second Corps he saw fighting in the deserts of north Africa, where the Second Corps joined the British fight against Rommel’s forces, and in Italy. . . . (continue reading…)

So what if the Communist regime has been starving their human population for decades with its incompetant rule? Now they’re abusing bears! Innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnvade! (But seriously, while I’m not a huge animal rights guy — especially when you contrast this with starving kids in the same country, this is pretty disgusting.)

In the latest tale of bear woe, another bear has gotten hepped up on the goofballs, ending in near tragedy.  “Yogi” (real name withheld for privacy reasons) climbed a tree in a subburban Colorado town and was tranquilized, then for some reason caught as he fell towards the ground.  Based on the picture here, it seems he was going head first and I can only assume had they not caught him everything would have been fine.  No word yet on whether the bear intends to throw himself into traffic.

We all know that Snark Critic Pop has become a hotbed for bear apologists and furry propaganda.  David Booth of the Florida Panthers is doing his best to fight against our bearly tolerable friends (get it?  BEAR-ly tolerable?)  Booth, who is an avid bow hunter took out this 7 foot tall menace and then tweeted this photo as a warning to any other bear out there who might have ideas…

Editorial note: In addition to my work on SnarkCriticPop.com, I also am a contributing writer for the premiere film and television beariodical, Entertainment Bearly. As a half-man/half-bear I am uniquely qualified for such a dual task, though I feel obliged to point out to you, my Snarky audience, that this particular article was written for bears by a (half-)bear. Feel free to read on . . . if you bear! Sorry, I promise that’s the last bear related pun of this bearagraph — I mean paragraph. Sorry again.

Before I get to my Movies for Bears column this week, a quick note from management: If you hear about a Bear Rally on Wall Street, it’s not what you think. If you go, please do not feed the bankers. Now, on to the film:

Grizzly Rage is the tale of a single mother whose only child is murdered by a cruel, merciless pack of homo sapiens, and her righteous pursuit of justice and . . . (dramatic pause) . . . revenge. (continue reading…)

A movie from Seth MacFarlane, starring Mila Kunis, Mark Wahlberg, and a talking teddy bear. What could possibly go wrong?