Snark, Critic and Pop!

Oh, Canada!  A story from Ottowa tells the tale of a 4 year old girl (not pictured) who took the dangerous tool of crayon drew a picture of her Dad with a gun.  From the article, the “26-year-old father of four said Saturday the sketch was supposed to be him, getting the bad guys and monsters.”  Little did he know, those imaginary monsters have rights!

An astute school employee contacted the ever useful “Family and Children’s Services,” who then contacted the police.  When the Father arrived to pick up his daughter, he was arrested, strip searched, and charged with possession of a firearm.  ”(P)olice searched his house and found a plastic toy gun that shoots foam darts.”  What can you say but, Oh Canada? (continue reading…)

In “news” from Vancouver, a typical bear (lazy, shiftless) hitched a ride on a garbage truck putting the bear in danger as the truck then drove through Hastings.  The bear was shot with a tranquilizer gun and is planned to be put back in the wild (it is assumed he will warn other bears to stay away from the city).  Said the bear via Twitter:

“I’d like to thank that guy for catching me when I fell down off the truck,” said a tweet from @downtown_bear. “Bears don’t bounce that well, y’know?”

A Canadian youth soccer league has decided it would be a good idea to penalize excessive success.  Any team that wins by more than five goals in a game will lose by default.  (The league has approximately three thousand children between ages 4 to 18.)  Now, there is something to be said for good sportsmanship, courtesy, and not piling on when you’re slaughtering your opponents, but this is ridiculous.  Why keep playing if one team cannot score?  Why would parents want their children to play in a league that penalizes success?

If anything, institute a slaughter rule so that if a team takes a six point lead the game is over.