Snark, Critic and Pop!

 Happy Veterans Day, to all you humans and bears alike.  From deadlinenews.com: 

A BEAR renowned for its help in some of the most significant battles of the Second World War is to have a Hollywood film made about him.

Wojtek, a Syrian brown bear who drank two bottles of beer a day, fought alongside Polish soldiers during the war before spending his final years at Edinburgh zoo. (continue reading…)

I can see how that makes sense: A deaf 3-year-old from Nebraska is being asked by the school district to change his name because in sign language it resembles “weapons.” Keep it real, gangsta!

Covered up by pro-human biased historians is the tale of Wojtek, the bear who fought alongside humans and helped win World War II with his superior stategery skills. The tale of Wojtek as described by the BBC:

Acquired as an orphaned cub in Iran, the young Wojtek was soon well-travelled: with the Artillery Supply Command of the Polish Second Corps he saw fighting in the deserts of north Africa, where the Second Corps joined the British fight against Rommel’s forces, and in Italy. . . . (continue reading…)

First off, I’m as shocked as anyone that the concept is experiencing a glitch.  I was thoroughly convinced that a gimmicky band that closely resembled pro wrestler Goldust impersonating a Smurf would be a great solution to our country’s edumacation problems. 

Alas, apparently it is not so.  According to this article, the school founded by the Blue Man Group — dubbed “The Blue School” is not properly preparing kids for the real world. 

Really.  Do me a favor.  Look at the picture on this post.  Seriously, who would look at these guys and think they might know how the real world works?  The article states in part: (continue reading…)

Four score and severed heads ago . . . I have received and screened a pre-release copy of The Asylum Studios latest b-movie, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, which will be available to the general public on Tuesday, May 29th.  First off, thank you, Asylum.  Second off, Abe vs. Zombies may well be the Asylum’s most entertaining movie to date.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is, of course, the mockbuster answer to the forthcoming, big budget, Tim Burton produced, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  Abe vs. Zombies is out first, and as far as camp fun, the bar is set very, very high. 

The premise is that our nation’s 16th arguably greatest (apologies to Millard Fillmore) President, Abraham Lincoln, had a bad experience with a zombie outbreak as a youth.  In the aftermath of the battle of Gettysburg, President Lincoln (Bill Oberst Jr.) hears of a new outbreak of the zombie plague in a remote fort.  Realizing that the Civil War will be a moot point should both North and South are overtaken by the walking dead, Abe leads a small, impeccably overdressed team to the fort to curb the zombie menace. (continue reading…)