Snark, Critic and Pop!

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It’s no Ethel Merman, but . . . (continue reading…)

In Roger Moore’s new book, Bond on Bond, he declares that even though he was Roger Moore, Daniel Craig is the best James Bond and that Craig has the best build of any bond.  Craig returns as Bond in the upcoming Skyfall – it will be his third turn as the worlds most famous fictional spy.  Moore himself played bond from 1973 to 1985 and ran the gamut from Live and Let Die to Moonraker (Ack!)

The new trailers keep on coming! It’s time for another James Bond movie, here’s hoping Bond acts a bit more like a spy in this one instead of the British Jason Bourne with a better memory, like the last forgettable film, Quantum of Lepus or whatever it was called:

*This review appeared on our old, now defunct site Film.IsPwn.com and appeared in my non-selling book, Mega Roos vs. Giant Crappy Movies.  I am scheduling it to re-post so there is some dandy, nice reading while I’m on vacation.  Enjoy, won’t you?  Then buy the book, for Pete’s sake!* 

 Brenda Starr (1989)

Starring: Brooke Shields, Timothy Dalton, Tony Peck, Jeffrey Tambor

Directed By: Robert Ellis Miller

With apologies to Jaws 4: The Revenge, which I called “the dumbest film ever made,” Brenda Starr is the dumbest movie ever made.  This is not “you-can-see-the-monster’s-zipper” stupidity or “the-digital-monsters-look-cheaper-than-Howdy-Doody” terrible.  Brenda Starr is “Let’s-Give-Chevy-Chase-A-Late-Night-Talkshow” caliber buffoonery from its very conception.

Brenda Starr is based on a long-running comic strip of the same name that I vaguely remember seeing many moons ago, when I actually got a newspaper and would turn to the funny pages for Calvin & Hobbes.  (For you youngsters out there, newspapers are kind of like web sites on paper.) (continue reading…)

I’m glad to see Q back in Bond, someone needs to make Daniel Craig laugh and give him an exploding cigar.  No offense to Whishaw, whoever he is, but there’s one person who should play Q: John de Lancie! (continue reading…)

In the late 70s, a few notable events happened. In 1977, science fiction began to boom with Star Wars and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. In 1978, I was born. In 1979, Roger Moore as James Bonds in Moonraker tried to capitalize on the science fiction craze and a few decades later I would have to suffer through it.

Don’t get me wrong — I like James Bond movies.  Most of them.  Some Bond flicks great (Dr. No), most of them are good (especially Living Daylights – Timothy Dalton is the greatest Bond!), and some are just dreadful, few as bad as Moonraker.

The plot is that eccentric billionaire Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale) is attempting to wipe out human life on Earth, after which the people he selects will repopulate Earth, who he calls alternately “perfect physical specimens” and “progenitors.” Uh, dude that’s just creepy. Drax has a super duper secret space station in space for everyone to live as a rare orchid (no, not the blood orchid from Anacondas: The Hunt For the Blood Orchid) is capable of only killing humans and not those precious animals (PETA is relieved, no doubt). To do this he steals a space shuttle, the Moonraker, which his company built, that Bond (James Bond) is sent to investigate. (continue reading…)