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Tag: Kung Fu Fighting

For A Good Friday Night Movie . . .

by on Aug.30, 2012, under Movies

The Raid: Redemption anyone? Check out the trailer: (continue reading…)

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Chuck Norris Movie Review: Breaker! Breaker! (1977)

by on Aug.23, 2012, under Movies

Starring: Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris’ Right Fist, Chuck Norris’ Left Fist
Directed By: Don Hulette (under supervision of Chuck Norris’ Feet)

I just saw Breaker! Breaker!, good buddy!  And for some reason I feel compelled to use as many exclamation points as possible!  Yea!  Exclamation points!!!!

Breaker!  Breaker! is a movie that hearkens back to a time (barely) before my birth, 1977, when C.B. radios were all the rage.  C.B. radios consisted of people chatting in trucks or various rooms, often under the guise of “handles” suck as “Big Jake” or “Rubber Duck” or “Oily Pete.”  C.B. radios were the communication engine for truckers, who used it to warn each other of police stakeouts, truck stops with bad chili, and to rant about various conspiracy theories.  So, in short, C.B. radios paved the way for cell phones and served a great national good by entertaining truckers until CD players, books on tape, and lengthy yet dignified silence came to popularity.

For reasons yet unknown (and grossly explored by social historians), big rig trucks and truckers were quite popular in the 70s.  Hollywood took notice.  Truckers were a cottage industry, the subject of not only movies but TV shows (B.J. & the Bear), songs (“Convoy”), books (Hardy Boys and the Mystery of the Greasy Truckstop), and movies. (continue reading…)

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Today’s Instructional Video: How To Make An Entrance

by on Mar.30, 2012, under Movies

It’s How To Make An Entrance, with your teacher, Sho Nuff, the Shogun of Harlem, as seen in the classic 80s B-movie The Last Dragon:

(continue reading…)

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At Long Last – Bruce Lee vs. Iron Man

by on Mar.15, 2012, under Only on the Internet

Not an epic rap battle of history, but stop motion internet silliness:

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REVIEW: Out for a Kill (2003)

by on Nov.15, 2011, under Movies

What better way to spend a lazy Saturday afternoon than going Out for a Kill?  This Steven Seagal direct-to-DVD endeavor is primarily noteworthy as it was the first movie produced with Confusovision 3000!  The groundbreaking Confusovision 3000 editing process (patent pending) renders understanding plot details virtually unknowable. 

The year is 2003.   They were better times in many ways.  No one knew who Justin Bieber was.  If you said “Lady Gaga” they would assume you were talking about a baby girl.  It’s shortly after Steven Seagal’s last big-screen feature film fizzled (Half Past Dead) in 2002.   Now he’s starring in low budget crap like Out For A Kill.  But, from the look in Steven Seagal’s eye – I think it’s called “hope” – Seagal hasn’t quite accepted his fate of reality shows, border patrols, musical sideshow, and z-movie star.  It’s almost as though Seagal thinks he’s starring in a good movie.  I assure you, Steven – may I call you Steven? – that is not the case. 

In the curiously titled Out for a Kill, Seagal plays an archeologist, arguably the biggest stretch since Denise Richards played a “nuclear physicist” Bond girl.  But, if the movie is to be believed, Seagal is not only an excellent archeologist he is a prestigious, AWARD winning one who we see accepting a trophy for, I kid you not, “Excellence in Archeology” at a banquet complete with copious flashing light bulbs.  There’s certainly no event that the media savors like a lumbering archeologist’s acceptance speech.  (continue reading…)

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Daniel, You Have Started Something – I Finish It

by on Jul.26, 2011, under Cinematic Masochist, Movies

Behold: Crippled Masters! Accoding to IMDB:

Two men skilled in the arts of Kung-Fu are betrayed by their master and crippled for life, one left with no arms and the other with no legs. Despite their obvious disadvantages, they learn to combine their martial arts skills and seek revenge against the evil master.

Might this be the most offensive worst action scene of all time? (continue reading…)

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Friends, I’ve Struck The Motherload!

by on Jul.26, 2011, under Cinematic Masochist

I present to you Turkey’s finest action movie, Death Warrior!

There’s ninjas! Ninjas jumping on trampolines! And the Turkish, kung fu fighting David Hassellhoff! And a jedi mind powered, floating, exploding rock! And a battle versus a burning scarecrow! And did I mention NINJAS!?!

Might this be the greatest worst action scene of all time? Judge for yourself:

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The Decline and Fall of Western Civilization – Part 3

by on Apr.27, 2011, under News

Everybody was kung fu fighting, the police came fast as lightning.  Not to break up a yakuza vs. mafia brawl but to arrest a singer of the Carl Douglas classic. Simon Ledge was singing the song at the Driftwood bar in Sandown, UK when a passing man “of Chinese origin” took offense claiming he was “subjected to racial abuse”.  Ledge was arrested on suspicion of causing harassment, alarm or distress.  Were this April 1st, this might be funny.  Carl Douglas himself has weighed in on the incident:

“I couldn’t believe it. This is not a racist song. It’s a happy, kicking, disco song.”

Now, racism is not a joke like DVD piracy, nor is it a victimless crime like punching someone in the dark, but this is absurd!

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