Snark, Critic and Pop!

 Happy Veterans Day, to all you humans and bears alike.  From deadlinenews.com: 

A BEAR renowned for its help in some of the most significant battles of the Second World War is to have a Hollywood film made about him.

Wojtek, a Syrian brown bear who drank two bottles of beer a day, fought alongside Polish soldiers during the war before spending his final years at Edinburgh zoo. (continue reading…)

100 years ago Teddy Roosevelt, shown here in what is surely a historically accurate picture, was shot in the chest at close range by deranged saloon keeper John Schrank.  He went on stage anyway and spoke for an hour before being rushed to the hospital.  During the speech he famously said “You see, it takes more than one bullet to kill a Bull Moose” providing what became the nickname for the progressive party and himself in the years that followed.  Talk about balls.  How big were they, you ask?  Well, his left one now houses his presidential library.

Covered up by pro-human biased historians is the tale of Wojtek, the bear who fought alongside humans and helped win World War II with his superior stategery skills. The tale of Wojtek as described by the BBC:

Acquired as an orphaned cub in Iran, the young Wojtek was soon well-travelled: with the Artillery Supply Command of the Polish Second Corps he saw fighting in the deserts of north Africa, where the Second Corps joined the British fight against Rommel’s forces, and in Italy. . . . (continue reading…)

Four score and severed heads ago . . . I have received and screened a pre-release copy of The Asylum Studios latest b-movie, Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies, which will be available to the general public on Tuesday, May 29th.  First off, thank you, Asylum.  Second off, Abe vs. Zombies may well be the Asylum’s most entertaining movie to date.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is, of course, the mockbuster answer to the forthcoming, big budget, Tim Burton produced, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  Abe vs. Zombies is out first, and as far as camp fun, the bar is set very, very high. 

The premise is that our nation’s 16th arguably greatest (apologies to Millard Fillmore) President, Abraham Lincoln, had a bad experience with a zombie outbreak as a youth.  In the aftermath of the battle of Gettysburg, President Lincoln (Bill Oberst Jr.) hears of a new outbreak of the zombie plague in a remote fort.  Realizing that the Civil War will be a moot point should both North and South are overtaken by the walking dead, Abe leads a small, impeccably overdressed team to the fort to curb the zombie menace. (continue reading…)