Snark, Critic and Pop!

Behold the awesomeness that is the Monster Brawl trailer!

There are two kinds of people in the world.  1) Those who cannot fathom spending an hour and a half watching a low-budget movie called 2-Headed Shark Attack.  2)  Cinematic masochists who cannot wait to spend an hour and a half watching a low-budget movie called 2-Headed Shark Attack.   If you’re like me — and I know I am — you just spent 90 of the greatest minutes of your life watching a pre-release copy of 2-Headed Shark Attack (thank you, Asylum!). 

The set-up for Doublemint Jaws munching is a semester on the ocean.  It’s cool Professor Babbish (Charlie O’Connell, appearing mid-way in transformation from brother Jerry O’Connell to pseudo-Kevin Sorbo), his wife/assistant Anne (Carmen Electra), and a very crowded boat full of college students/shark appetizers.  The students are a lively bunch, very compliant at standing two-by-two, an equal distance apart, to allow the 2 headed shark to perform simultaneous chomps to the audience’s delight.  (continue reading…)

The Korean version of Godzilla, Yongary, (every country with cinemas and enormous, warm rocks has a mutant lizard problem) gets down with his bad self:

(Thanks to Shannon for sending the vid!)

Saw Super 8, the new monster movie that hit theaters this weekend.  More than a mere monster movie, this is a writer-director J.J. Abrams (Lost, Star Trek [2009], Alias, etc.), Stephen Spielberg-esque monster movie.  So Steven Spielberg-esque is Super 8, that it’s produced by Steven Spielberg. 

The film is set in 1979, following a cast of smalltown tweens who are working on their own no-budget zombie movie with a Super 8 camera.  The kids boldly sneak out to film a scene at night, and barely survive a military train being derailed.  In the carnage, one of the boys sees something escape the train, and maybe, just maybe their camera may have caught a glimpse as well.  Pretty soon, the military is investigating, the kids are coming of age (mild sappiness alert!), dogs are running away from home, machine parts are turning up missing, and there be a monster lurking in the shadows.

I don’t want to give away too much, partly because I’m feeling lazy and partly because you need to go see this movie!  (continue reading…)

How glorious was the premeire of Mega Python vs. Gatoroid on the SyFy Channel last night?  Let me count the ways.

1. The rivalry between Debbie Gibson’s environmental activist, snake lovin’ wacko and Tiffany’s gator protecting Everglades Park Ranger.  (“Oooh, somebody had (w)itch for breakfast!”)
2. Tiffany is 1 of only 3 Park Rangers to the Florida Everglades.  The other 2 are a lovable grandma (Kathryn Joosten) and a wacky deputy who aspires to the competence level of Barney Fife (Kevin M. Horton).  You must see the scene where Barney Lite is distracted by a rock thrown in an empty field, and proceeds to stalk the field like a ninja looking for the source of the noise he heard.
3. The scene where Carey Van Dyke (grandson of Dick) kisses fiance Tiffany, and one of the nearby rednecks shouts: “Kiss her like a real man!  Put your tongue down her throat!” (continue reading…)

Sorry about that, I’ve been watching a lot of the Adam West Batman series of late.  You’d think all available awesomeness would be exhausted on the week of Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, but it is being reported that — in light of the success of Sharktopus — Roger Corman is producing Piranhaconda! 

The article states: “The movie revolves around the battle with a creature “with razor sharp teeth and 100 feet of constricting power.”  Filming begins in February – in Hawaii.  We will follow up with PIRANHACONDA after filming has commenced.”  It’s just like I dreamed it . . . that night I mixed Nyquil, Sudafed, Tylenol PM, and Red Bull. 

Party at Brian’s house everybody!

The release date is set, as are my plans for next weekend.

Saturday September 25th. SyFy Channel.

One word, not just a film title but a cultural landmark: SHARKTOPUS.

‘Nuff said. Trailer:

(continue reading…)