Snark, Critic and Pop!

It’s a tough economy out there, or so I’m told by my many servants who don’t fit into the guest services.  But who would think the ninjas would be impacted?  From IGN:

The London-based Prince Charles Cinema has hired a “Ninja Task Force” to safeguard the film-viewing experience from rude, talkative, phone-using moviegoers. The theater has teamed with Morphsuits to have volunteers “guard” the screenings from chatty patrons in exchange for getting to see the movie for free. (continue reading…)

When (not if, when) aliens come to this planet specifically to ask me what humans think is cool, I shall point them in the direction of this classic scene from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze:

I present to you Turkey’s finest action movie, Death Warrior!

There’s ninjas! Ninjas jumping on trampolines! And the Turkish, kung fu fighting David Hassellhoff! And a jedi mind powered, floating, exploding rock! And a battle versus a burning scarecrow! And did I mention NINJAS!?!

Might this be the greatest worst action scene of all time? Judge for yourself:

What else do you need to know? Ninjas vs. Vampires!

Coming this December, what may be the greatest Cowboys versus Ninjas movie of the year, the Warrior’s Way.  (Some might think it’s too early for a remake of Shanghai Noon, but I say, bah! It’s never too soon for a remake of anything! Think how less wonderous the world would be without that Honeymooners remake?)

Looks like it could be an entertaining (note I did not say “good”) movie.  How could it not?  It’s got martial artstry, cowboyistry, and the gorgeous Kate Bosworth (who, unlike Megan Fox is attractive and can act).  If that’s not enough, there’s a grizzled Geoffrey Rush delivering the guaranteed classic line: “Ninjas. Damn.”  I can’t do it justice.  Just watch the trailer: (continue reading…)