Snark, Critic and Pop!

Last weekend I was lucky enough to watch the wonderfully terrible Howling II: My Sister is a Werewolf and I even have a copy at my house now that fellow cinematic masochist Daniel Roos was unwilling to take it home with him.  Never heard of it?  Well, maybe you heard of it by it’s other title: Howling II: Stirba – Werewolf Bitch.  Terrible joke you say?  Well, I counter with I wasn’t joking, that was actually the title upon release. 

The film which was directed by Phillipe Mora begins with the funeral of journalist Karen White (the heroine from the first Howling film) which is attended by her brother Ben and her colleague Jenny as well as creepy Stefan played by the great Christopher Lee.  Spoiler alert – she sleeps with the young good looking guy who can’t act, not the creepy old guy who can!  Anyway, Stephan hasn’t come to bring flowers or offer condolences or even stand in the background looking uninterested like the rest of the extras, he has come to tell Ben that… wait for it… his sister is a werewolf!  (continue reading…)

When I found out last night that the premier of Sharktopus was NEXT week, and not this week I was heartbroken.  What could possibly fill the void left by the vanished promise of awful plots, terrible acting and abysmal “special” effects?  Luckily for me, The Howling III – The Marsupials was available on demand for only $1.99.  Not only that, they will let me watch it over and over again for the next month at no additional charge.  Apparently Time Warner is under the impression that lobotomizing it’s customers is a good idea.

The Howling III is the story of Australians who have been possessed by the spirit of the extinct Tasmanian wolf and have become lycanthropes.  They live in the town of Flow (Spoiler alert – don’t read that backwards).  Jerboa (Imogen Annesley) runs away from the clan because the clan leader rapes her.  She makes her way to Sydney where she is discovered by Donny who gets her a job as an actress in a horror movie.  When told she is going to get gang raped by four werewolves in the first scene she laughs thus indicating while she herself was raped, she has gotten over it in 48 hours.  As viewers we now now – she’s a survivor.  (continue reading…)