Snark, Critic and Pop!

It’s a fast food mascot massacre, slasher style!  The other day I posted a review of writer/director Ryan Schifrin’s 2006 feature film debut, Abominable.  Sadly, the talented Mr. Schifrin has neither made another full length film nor has he befriended Jude Law in order to kill him and assume his life.  But in 2007 Schifrin made this darling, mini horror film, featuring the creepy Burger King mascot “The King” hunting down the Jack in the Box spokesman.  Who do you root for in a showdown like this?  Personally, I root for my arteries to become less clogged. 

Be warned, cheesy horror violence ensues.  Watch and behold the slasher parody goodness: (continue reading…)

The low-budget horror flick Abominable is surprisingly bominable.  In fact, it is the single most bominable film about the Abominable snowman ever made. (I concede that measuring a movie against the likes of Harry & The Hendersons sets the bar rather low.)

(What do you mean “bominable” is not a word?  If “abominable” means “bad”, “bominable” must mean “good”, right?  It’s petty criticism like that which keep me from being a gruntled employee of SnarkCriticPop.com.  Sorry, I’ve gotten off track before getting on the track.)

If the universe has but one constant that we can all embrace and rely on, it’s that on Saturday nights at 9 o’clock the SyFy Channel is going to air a really, really crappy movie.  Whether it’s a movie like Mansquito, Frankenfish, or Dinocroc, it never fails.  If you want cheesy special effects, this is the greatest two hours in the week. 

And let’s be honest, there’s a lot working against the movies that make their debut on SyFy.  Their budget is small, the script they are working with isn’t exactly highly sought after, and the actors available are usually either has-beens or never-will-be’s.  (Notable exception: those films that feature megastar Kevin Sorbo.)  Still, one of these movies would have to be truly, hideously terrible for me to rank it as one of the worst movies ever for the simple reason they didn’t have the resources your big-budget blockbusters do.  If you’ve got Lorenzo Lamas running from dinosaurs that look as though they escaped from the Commodore 64 graphics department, odds are you are watching a SyFy Channel movie (Raptor Island, to be specific).

Low expectations sometimes make for pleasant surprises.  Or, as my father once told me, “The cynic is never disappointed.” (continue reading…)