Snark, Critic and Pop!

Saturday, November 10th, the SyFy Channel original movie will be no less than . . . (dramatic pause) . . . GHOST STORM.  Could it be they picked up my unsolicited screenplay of the vile Hurricane Katrina, raised from the weather front equivalent of hell to haunt New Orleans from beyond the grave?  Alas, no, the plot appears to be original.  The description from imdb.com reads:

An action packed chase led by Hal and Ashley to save the people on this small island from a strange electrical storm which is led by angry souls from a mass suicide looking for revenge.

We can’t wait, SyFy!

Oh, SyFy Channel, you’ve done it again! Can you say Aladdin & the Death Lamp at 7 o’clock (Eastern), followed immediately by Pegasus vs. Chimera at 9 o’clock?

Pegasus vs. Chimera stars Sebastian Roché, 80s star Rae Dawn Chong, and — can it be?! — Old Hickory himself, Andrew Jackson! There isn’t much information for the film available on the world wide interwebs, but inside sources and the trailer posted below seem to indicate the plot involves some manner of conflict between the mythological beasts Pegasus & Chimera. Here’s hoping Pegasus comes out the victor, and can star in the sequel I’m penning, Pegasus vs. My Little Pony. More information as it develops, friends.

Even more mysterious is Aladdin & the Death Lamp. Other than the SyFy blurb (“To save the world, Aladdin must wager everything to get an evil Jinn back into his lamp”), I can’t even seem to find an imdb page for this. A search for Aladdin & the Death Lamp leads me to a half-dozen versions of “Aladdin & the Wonderful Lamp.” No, IMDB, I seek a film much less wonderful. Needless to say, expect a much less entertaining and pleasant genie than Robin Williams, though hopefully less hairy as well. (continue reading…)

Confounding all logic, M. Night Shayamalan continues to get work.  It seems the Syfy channel has green lit a pilot by the oft maligned director.  The pilot apparently “tells the story of a billionaire who offers a reward to anyone who can assure him that his dead parents’ souls will be afforded an afterlife”… I say the billionaire is really dead and his parents are alive only they don’t know the 16th century village they are living in really exists in the 21st century!  See – now you don’t have to watch and be disappointed as I have already disappointed you.  Anything for you, the reader!

Yes, we’ve all wondered what would happen when giant spiders mated with . . . earthquakes? Wait, what? Let me try this tease again: We all wondered what would happen when the kid from Terminator 2: Judgment Day would get work. Yeah, that tease seems more plausible. Behold! The trailer for this Saturday Night’s SyFy Channel Original, ArachnoQuake, starring the Edward Furlong:

It’s a double-whammy — a SyFy Saturday night movie, from our pals at the Asylum! It’s American Warships, premeiring around the same time as that other movie Battleship hits theaters. What a coincidink!

Methinks many movie concepts these days are taken by taking known concepts, creatures, characters, and genres, putting them in a bowl, pulling out two, and voila! There’s your movie idea. Piranhas and . . . Anacondas. Okay, let’s make Piranhaconda! Abraham Lincoln and . . . Zombies! Along those lines: This Saturday, the SyFy Channel original movie is Alien Tornado. Baton down the hatches, bad movie lovers!

Watch the trailer, if you dare! (continue reading…)

With Shannen Doherty! Oh how the mighty — or, once less weak, I suppose — are fallen!

(continue reading…)

“This snow globe is just like Pandora’s box!”

Coming October 29th to the SyFy Channel, is an Asylum original movie starring VING RHAMES: ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

The SyFy Channel premeires a new, original movie this Saturday, Killer Mountain! The title sounds entertaining — not Hobo With A Shotgun entertaining, but still — but this “sneak peak” looks downright bad bad. Not fun bad, but bad bad, or just plain dull:


(continue reading...)

Yes, baseball hall of famer, mustache expert, and enemy to chickens everywhere Wade Boggs is an actor now. Well, an actor inasmuch as he has landed a novelty casting role in a SyFy Channel Original movie, Swamp Shark, debuting TONIGHT on the SyFy Channel.

IMDB.com says Boggs plays Deputy Stanley in the film. While Boggs does not appear in the clip below, not much is certain other than he is probably going to be a really, really bad actor in a really, really small role, in this really, really bad film. Yes, I am psyched! My DVR is set, and I hope yours is as well. (continue reading…)

Will it be made for cable TV cheesy sci fi goodness or just an all around terrible and unenjoyable flick? Find out tonight at 9 Eastern on the SyFy Channel! Worth watching the clip if only for the WORST APPLICATION OF A JAWS REFERENCE EVER: (continue reading…)