Snark, Critic and Pop!

I am here to post a free chapter from my somewhat-selling book MEGA ROOS VS. GIANT CRAPPY MOVIES. Why? Shameless self-promotion? Well, that’s part of it, yes. But also because I need to bring attention to the subject, a wonderfully bizarre James Bond knock-off from 1987, The Order of the Black Eagle.

I stumbled across the movie by chance on a cable channel that barely exists (MGM-HD). Neither The Order of the Black Eagle nor its predecessor Unmasking the Idol exist on DVD, which is a shame. On DVD you can get Saved By The Bell, any given Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, and 148 different versions of Gattaca, but not a real treasure like The Order of the Black Eagle? This movie needs to be on DVD! I’ll buy like 20 copies!

Heck, I cannot even find clips of this movie on YOUTUBE. If not for my vivid recollections of the balding superspy, his baboon sidekick, the raspberry filled Hitler, and the entry on imdb.com, I might believe that I’d made up the movie in some wild daydream. But it’s real, it’s real, I swear it is real. Without further ado, here is the write-up of The Order of the Black Eagle as it appears in the book: (continue reading…)