Snark, Critic and Pop!

*This review appeared on our old, now defunct site Film.IsPwn.com and appeared in my non-selling book, Mega Roos vs. Giant Crappy Movies.  I am scheduling it to re-post so there is some dandy, nice reading while I’m on vacation.  Enjoy, won’t you?  Then buy the book, for Pete’s sake!* 

 Brenda Starr (1989)

Starring: Brooke Shields, Timothy Dalton, Tony Peck, Jeffrey Tambor

Directed By: Robert Ellis Miller

With apologies to Jaws 4: The Revenge, which I called “the dumbest film ever made,” Brenda Starr is the dumbest movie ever made.  This is not “you-can-see-the-monster’s-zipper” stupidity or “the-digital-monsters-look-cheaper-than-Howdy-Doody” terrible.  Brenda Starr is “Let’s-Give-Chevy-Chase-A-Late-Night-Talkshow” caliber buffoonery from its very conception.

Brenda Starr is based on a long-running comic strip of the same name that I vaguely remember seeing many moons ago, when I actually got a newspaper and would turn to the funny pages for Calvin & Hobbes.  (For you youngsters out there, newspapers are kind of like web sites on paper.) (continue reading…)