Snark, Critic and Pop!

FDR: American Badass is set for DVD release on September 25th, 2012 (see the trailer here).  The press release says it all, or at least as much as I need to know:

The shocking secret history of our 32nd American President is finally revealed in what critics are calling “nothing short of hilarious” (Todd Rigney, Beyond Hollywood), the triple-threat action/horror/comedy FDR: AMERICAN BADASS, available on DVD September 25th from Screen Media. A sensation at this year’s Comic-Con, the film stars Barry Bostwick, of TV’s “Spin City,” “Cougar Town” and The Rocky Horror Picture Show fame, as Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who, after being left crippled by a werewolf bite, decides to run for President in order to stop a global werewolf curse controlled by Hitler, Mussolini, and Hirohito.

Joining Bostwick in the ass-kicking fun is a who’s who of cult film and television stars, including Lin Shaye (There’s Something About Mary) as Eleanor Roosevelt (continue reading…)

Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of the biggest Hollywood hits ever, and is about to get bigger…. IMAX bigger!  Starting September 7th, there will be a one week limited run in theaters featuring a remastered IMAX version of the film made from the original 35mm film.  Said Spielberg (who would in no way be exaggerating to get us into theaters):

“Suddenly, there was definition in the shadows, which I had never seen before. And the shadows weren’t murky and washed out; they were sharp as a tack… I sat there, I think, probably with my mouth open a little wider than it normally is.”

Most importantly he declared he would not be doing any digital tweaking or adding new effects to the film.  It is almost enough for me to forgive him as using this to promote character ahead of the release of the four film blue ray DVD set coming out shortly after…

This is a redband trailer, which means it’s all naughty, violent, and profane. But, it’s FDR: American Badass! Franklin Delano Roosevelt in a machine gun blasting wheelchair fighting werewolf Nazis. Werewolf Nazis whose attack causes FDR’s bout with polio. Actually quote: “I think the werewolf came from Germany.”

One of SnarkCriticPop’s favorite actors — Barry Bostwick, the actor who actually thought about his role in an Asylum film, 2010: Moby Dick, and built his own gun to use in the movie — plays Roosevelt. This FDR drops such quotes in the trailer as: “Playa to playa, pimp to pimp, I appreciate it.” And: “I’m a motorcycle of death, I ain’t got no sidecar.” If that’s not enough, according to imdb.com Kevin Sorbo plays Abraham Lincoln. Say what? Watch and believe: (continue reading…)

It’s Nazi’s — in Space! (continue reading…)

Often, we here at SnarkCriticPop post about forthcoming flicks that we think are going to be fun/bad.  One such film I posted the trailer of back in Junewas BloodRayne: Third Reich.  From the world’s worst director Uwe Boll (don’t believe me?  Watch this movie) and featuring a leather clad vampire hottie battling Nazis, how could we be wrong?  Well, quite frankly, I’m not entirely sure how, because my brain in some manner of failsafe has wiped the movie from my memory banks. 

I have a distinct memory of plucking BloodRayne: Third Reich from a local RedBox.  I remember taking it excitedly to the Bad Movie Night Crew’s weekly get-together.  And I remember head-achy confusion.  I remember wanting to challenge Uwe Boll to a boxing match, but realizing that I may never regain strength in my arms to eat a Dorito much less box a bad director.  (continue reading…)

People often ask me, “Daniel, how did ordinary citizens get their movie spoilers before the internet was invented?”  “Good question, People,” I often answer.  “In olden times of olde, movie spoilers were often contained in the movie titles.”

Don’t believe me?  Look no further than 1943′s Tarzan Triumphs.  How does it end?  Well, Tarzan triumphs.  Retroactive spoiler alert: if you don’t want to know how Tarzan Triumphs ends, don’t read the title of Tarzan Triumphs.

This was the 8th Tarzan movie featuring star Johnny Weissmuller, and the first without Jane — the actress Maureen O’Sullivan had apparently had enough, and just in time for the shark monkey to be jumped.  The premise of Tarzan Triumphs is simple: Tarzan vs. Nazis.  (If that doesn’t whet your appetite sufficiently, I’ll add that during the climactic battle Tarzan’s chimp sidekick Cheetah fires a machine gun at the Nazis.) (continue reading…)

I am here to post a free chapter from my somewhat-selling book MEGA ROOS VS. GIANT CRAPPY MOVIES. Why? Shameless self-promotion? Well, that’s part of it, yes. But also because I need to bring attention to the subject, a wonderfully bizarre James Bond knock-off from 1987, The Order of the Black Eagle.

I stumbled across the movie by chance on a cable channel that barely exists (MGM-HD). Neither The Order of the Black Eagle nor its predecessor Unmasking the Idol exist on DVD, which is a shame. On DVD you can get Saved By The Bell, any given Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, and 148 different versions of Gattaca, but not a real treasure like The Order of the Black Eagle? This movie needs to be on DVD! I’ll buy like 20 copies!

Heck, I cannot even find clips of this movie on YOUTUBE. If not for my vivid recollections of the balding superspy, his baboon sidekick, the raspberry filled Hitler, and the entry on imdb.com, I might believe that I’d made up the movie in some wild daydream. But it’s real, it’s real, I swear it is real. Without further ado, here is the write-up of The Order of the Black Eagle as it appears in the book: (continue reading…)