Snark, Critic and Pop!

“Mutant” apparently means “Zombies”:

From my source of news, The South African:

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa — When news spread that Zulu folk singer Khulekani “Mgqumeni” Khumalo had returned from the dead, thousands of fans descended on his rural home.

The man claiming to be Khumalo, an award-winning traditional maskandi musician who apparently died in 2009, said he had been kept captive by zombies who wanted to put a nail into his head. (continue reading…)

This Summer’s big-budget blockbuster Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter will have competition for sheer enjoyment (if not creativity) in its low-budget, mockbuster companion . . . ABRAHAM LINCOLN VS. ZOMBIES!  Only from our friends at the Asylum.  (Pre-production is under way according to the Asylum’s web-site.)

I hope there’s a scene where Lincoln’s famously brief Gettysburg Address is attributed to having to rush off to fend of undead confederates.  

And who plays Lincoln?  Lorenzo Lamas gets my vote.  No matter what — 2012 is looking like it’s gonna be a heck of a year!

What do you get when you mix a Patrick Stewart voice-over, a phone commercial, the gorgeous Milla Jovovich, and zombies? RESIDENT EVIL 5: The Quest For Peace! Resident Evil: Electric Boogaloo. Or, Resident Evil: Retribution, if you will. Watch the trailer, fellow Trailer Watchers! (continue reading…)

Coming October 29th to the SyFy Channel, is an Asylum original movie starring VING RHAMES: ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!

A shocking twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan’s increasingly terrible movies.  The brain is the zombie!  A news story that is the best motivation never to diet:

Like other parts of the body, brain cells begin to eat themselves as a last-ditch source of energy to ward off starvation, a study found.

The body responds by producing fatty acids, which turn up the hunger signal in the brain and increase our impulse to eat. . . .

Tests on mice found that stopping the brain cells from eating themselves – a process known as autophagy – prevented levels of hunger from rising in response to starvation.

Exciting news from our Ancient Hollywood Satellite Office in Burbank!  Archeologists have unearthed the world’s earliest known M. Night Shyamalan film.  The discovery calls into question previously accepted notions about filmmaker and noted twist-ending enthusiast Shyamalan.  Experts originally accepted as fact that Shyamalan burst onto the motion picture scene with 1999’s Sixth Sense.  Recent evidence suggests otherwise.

The evidence in question is 1933’s The Ghoul, starring Boris Karloff.  Skeptics point out that The Ghoulwas made four decades prior to Shyamalan’s birth.  But neither Shyamalan nor the state of Hawaii have been able to produce a birth certificate.  Now, why do archeologist’s and Jesse Ventura now argue that the Ghoul is the handiwork of Mr. Shyamalan?

Let us examine the motion picture and see if we can find the proof: (continue reading…)

Long overdue:

Haiti criminalizes the creation of zombies.  The zombie lobby is furious, but they tend to be that way anyway. 

My editorial commentary: It’s About Durn Time! 

George Romero is unavailable for comment.

Havana has been overrun by zombies!  Who will save the godless commies from having their brains devoured by these ghoulish creatures?  Why Juan of the Dead!  He will save you you, for a price…

Juan is the central character in the new Cuban film Juan of the Dead, directed by Alejandro Brugues.  It is a joint Cuban Spanish project with little funding coming from within Cuba.  According to Brugues:

“It’s a zombie film but it’s about Cubans and how we react in the face of a crisis because we’ve had a lot of them here over the last 50 years” it pretty much laughs in the face of problems.”

Luckily for Fidel, it is a crisis his brother Raul will have to worry about, he can concentrate on avoiding exploding cigars. (continue reading…)

Now the truth can be told: JFK, Nixon, Castro, and Robert McNamara fightin’ zombies in the White House. I’m not a video gamer, but I must tip my hat to the sheer awesomeness of this intro to Call of Duty: Black Ops: (continue reading…)

A movie called Against the Dark came out in 2009, featuring Steven Seagal battling zombies. 

There are so many rich possibilities, a plethora you might say. How many ways can Steven Seagal kill a zombie with a credit card? How long could a zombie family of four survive dining on the massive corpse of Mr. Seagal? Would a zombie version of Steven Seagal have enough sense to take a role in the Expendables? How did I miss this movie when it came out?  Irregardless, I must acquire it!

Watch the trailer, if you dare! (continue reading…)

Editors Note: We at Snark, Critic & Pop do not want to give our readers the impression that we “read books” or that we have “basic levels or literacy” and hope that an article which mentions a book is not interpreted as an attempt to appear hoity toity.

The disappointing thing about this Zombies at a Star Trek convention, pop culture mash-up trailer is that it’s for a book, not an actual movie. (The book is here, for those interested.) Were it a movie, we’d be there opening night:

(continue reading…)